Hamster Crisis Prophets Committee
Our Mission
We are a group of highly skilled hamsters who have declared themselves prophets. Our mission is to predict the future, but only for hamsters. If you're not a hamster, please leave.
Our Methods
Intuition
Our methods are based on pure intuition, because, let's face it, hamsters are experts in this department.
Hamster-Fu
Hamster-Fu is the ancient art of sensing the vibes of the universe. We're not entirely sure how it works, but we're pretty sure it's real.
Random Number Generation
We use a complex system of dice rolling, tarot cards, and astrology to predict the future. It's very scientific, we swear.
Our Prophets
Hamstera McHamsterface
Our lead prophet is Hamstera McHamsterface, who has been predicting hamster futures since 2005. She's a hamster of great wisdom and foresight.
Hamstera's Predictions
Our Archives
We keep an extensive collection of our past prophecies, because who knows when we might need to refer back to them.